You Suck! That was horrible. What was she thinking? Get a real job.
Ah, the loving words of those that care. It’s really amazing what judgmental creatures we human beings are. The impulsive mechanism that chimes in when something doesn’t sit well in our stomachs that some of us seem to have to express our compulsiveness at… well, maybe a lot more are just silent observers but that little group that likes to vocalize their opinions, aye, there’s the rub.
Criticism hurts. We can either be desensitized from it, if being continually chastised happens as often as your morning Starbucks Tall Café Latte, or take it so hard the end result is deserving of having bruises from your house-arrest bracelet while making something in your kitchen that tastes something like your morning Starbucks Tall Café Latte.
Let’s see if we can come to a middle-ground.
Woo-Sah! First things first… calm the hell down. Your first intention may be to retort in a very unattractive manner. Stop. Take a deep breath. Release. A cool head gets better results.
Don’t over-react. We’re still cool here. It’s all good. Realize that criticism WILL hurt. Your feelings, your ego, your pride are all going to be served on a platter. Enhance the calm, it’s better than being served time.
Thank them and ask how to improve. Yea, that may be a little hard, but get it out of the way, it’ll feel better I promise. Get off the defensive and ask them what their specific reasoning’s are. Try to understand their view. If it’s a fair judgment, go along with it and ask them how they think you can improve, if not just for the purpose of humoring them and calming the compelling urge to put worms in their bed. If it’s not a fair judgment, or they seem to be attacking you…
Don’t take shit from them. I especially love when people try to tell me how to succeed, or make a lot of money… the RIGHT way. It should be common sense by now that there’s more than one way to reach the top of the mountain. Don’t be afraid to speak up and let someone know that they’re out of line. Usually the ones who attack are usually the ones with no clue, which leads to the next point…
Consider who’s doing the criticizing. I’ve recently dealt with this concerning my Facebook page and my friends dealing with my business. A lot of people (especially the ones older than you) like to be experts when they think you don’t know anything. If it seems like you’re taking fitness advice from a fat guy, you may just want to brush that off (or laugh in his face hysterically while patting his stomach). Either one will do.
Remember that what people think of you are THEIR opinions. So what! Fuck’em. In the long run, relying on people’s ideas of you and seeking approval makes you the real loser. If YOU believe in what you do, nothing else matters. How many times have we heard of others saying something was not good only to bite their tongues when that something surpasses expectations? Remember Family Guy?
Be honest with yourself. What sucked about what you did or made? How good was your performance really? We’re all a little biased about our work but let’s be truthful, nothing is perfect and there is always room for improvement. Being your own worst enemy helps because then YOU become the greatest criticizer.
Don’t be afraid to be a failure. Some say failure is just one step away. True, I’ll take that. But failure is also an experience, and as long as we learn from our experience we never really fail.
“I have not failed… I just found 1000 ways that won’t work.” Thomas Edison
What can we learn about ourselves? Sometimes criticism helps us to grow in a more positive way if we actually take the time to marinate in our accuser’s thoughts. To grow from the critics makes us the bigger person (As well as give us a reason to over-inflate their ego with a sly smile… Well, I like it).
Can you think of others? Leave your thoughts.
